Ukuba uyakwazi ukuhlangabezana ubudala njani? Okokuqala ubuhlobo teen

Romance phakathi kwentsha - ingaqhelekanga. Amaxesha amaninzi lobudlelwane zivela ubuhlobo njengoko umsebenzi ebhudla kule minyaka 14-15 lube unxibelelwano olusondeleyo kunye zobuqu. Imfuneko umhlobo osenyongweni bukhulu kangangokuba xa oselula kufumana oku, ukuba kungekho mntu ukuxelela iimfihlelo sam ukuze ndixelele malunga namava akhe, avakalelwa ungonwabi kakhulu.

Abazali abaninzi abaye abantwana abakhula kwiintsapho, imibuzo ochaphazelekayo malunga kweminyaka emingaphi ungabona unyana okanye intombi. Indlela ukuba uthethe nomntwana wakho kweli phakade? Ngaba kufuneka ukumcenga ukungqina ukuba iimvakalelo enkulu epatini kummelwane elifutshane-waphila? Okokuqala, umntu kufuneka uzame ukuqonda abantwana babo, bavumele nazo zonke izigaba ekhula kancinci. Abazali kufuneka abe novelwano, kodwa ebandakanya wonke. Abantwana abeza elivisayo, abadli bengaqondi abazali babo, ekholelwa ukuba abo ngeenxa zama ukunciphisa inkululeko yabo.

Ubunzima neengxaki ezijongene uthando teen

Umntwana engama-15 - oku asiyo umntwana kodwa akukabikho omdala. Ufuna sibonakale omdala, yaye ngoko liphela iza kufuna ubungqina ukuzimela kwawo, ukuzimela. Kwakunye nabazali. Ngoko ke musa ukumangaliswa ukuba awunayo umntwana yonke isixelela ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kuye, ukuba uyayeka ukwabelana ngamava abo. Naye ke kunzima kakhulu ukujongana iimvakalelo zakhe eziphikisanayo.

kunyaka elinesihlanu Unyana wakho omdala ngokwenene bathuthunjiswe umbuzo indlela ukuya intombazana oyithandayo, kunokuba ukufumana ingqalelo yakhe, ukuba kubiza njani na indawo kuye. Mhlawumbi ucinga yonke le mbudede, ngenxa yokuba - umntu omdala kwaye elide ushiye ngasemva amaphupha zobutsha eyenza. Abantwana basemngciphekweni kakhulu kwaye engakhuselekanga, kwanokuba yokuzenzisa ibonakale kuko. Ukuba ngexesha xa ndachukumiseka a ukuzibuza amawaka, baqale pester imibuzo, ungenza ngokusisigxina bonakalisa mood ngokwabo kunye nomntwana.

uthando engamthandi ku olufikisayo

uthando lokuqala - uvavanyo lokwenene zombini umntwana kunye nabazali. Njengoko kuba imvakalelo elivisayo ngokwayo entsha, imincili, kudla ngokuba nako ukuyilawula. Umthanda okokuqala, yaye kubonakala ukuba ngonaphakade. Okokuqala ubuhlobo teen njalo uza isimanga abazali babo. Apha ke ekugqibeleni bekumele: ukuba baziphathe kwaye sisabele njani? Ukuba uthando kwenza umntwana ubunzima, bekudina, uba Wayesoyika ephazamisayo, ngoko ke kufuneka inkxaso wakho ngumzali.

Zama ukuthetha naye intliziyo ngentliziyo: sixelele ukuba uthando lwakho lokuqala, bavumele ukuba uyaziqonda iimvakalelo zakhe yaye akazange acinge ububhanxa. Ukuba umntwana ixesha elide abaphethwe uthando ezingabuyekezekiyo, ngoko akuyomfuneko kufuneka ukuba bajonge ngengqondo. Yingcali iya kusebenza naye ukunceda ukoyisa ingqiqo okwakubonakala nathemba nesizungu. Ukongeza, le kwengqondo kuya kunceda ukwalathisa iimvakalelo neengcinga kwicala elifanelekileyo: rhoqo, ufumana uthando lokuqala, elivisayo ulilahle ukufunda, imisebenzi yemihla ngemihla yasekhaya, ukuphikisana nabanye.

Ngaphezu kweminyaka emingaphi singayibonisa?

Lo mbuzo ucelwa abantwana kunye nabazali babo. Ngokwenene buhlungu kwaye impikiswano, njengoko kungekho imida ubudala ngqo xa umntwana kuvunyelwa ukuba ukuhlangabezana umntu. Njengomgaqo, yonke into yenzeka ngephanyazo ngesiquphe kunye nabazali nje phambi mhaka. Ubukhulu becala ixhomekeke koko ubuhlobo wakho okwishumi elivisayo nomnyulwa okanye nabanyuliweyo. Ukuba nje ubuhlobo, ubudlelwane nobuhlobo, ngoko ke bafanele ukuba ivalwe. Abantwana ukwenza abahlobo nkqu abancinane, yintoni ephosakeleyo?

Enye into, xa uye wazi ukuba unyana wakho okanye intombi okokuqala wamthanda. Oku yimvakalelo eyahlukileyo kakhulu, kwaye apha yobudala kubalulekile. Ukuba umntwana-13 kuphela - engama-14, Kakade ke, simele ingqalelo kakhulu oko kwenzekayo naye. elivisayo buhlobo kakuhle kuyiwe into ngakumbi, lize lilandele iimvakalelo elivisayo ingaqala nolwalamano olusondeleyo. Kubalulekile ukuba ihlale engqondweni into yokuba eneminyaka ethile oselula onjalo, abantwana ngokulula ukwenza into engevayo. Sityeshele bonke ikufanele. Kodwa nokwala nje zibona - nayo ukhetho. Nokuba ucinga ukuba umntwana wakho nangoku ekuseni kakhulu ukudibana nomntu wesini esahlukileyo, musa ndingekuxeleli kuye. Wona kuphela bakhe ukuzithemba kwaye ngokwenene ukuqonda ukuba. Yintoni ebalulekileyo unyaka nje into engqina ukuba umntwana omdala ngokwaneleyo, kodwa ukuba ukulungele ukuba nolwalamano.

ukulungela Psychological

Ukuphendula umbuzo kweminyaka emingaphi uyakwazi ukuhlangabezana, kufuneka athathe ingqalelo iqondo ukulungela bangayiboni ubudlelwane: indlela ekunokuba uxanduva ngezenzo zabo, ukuba akwazi siyazenza iimpazamo zabo, ukuba ulwazi olwaneleyo malunga lokufikisa kunye neentlobano zesini. Ngaba elivisayo ukucinga nje kuphela kodwa kwakhona malunga iqabane?

Kakade ke, kwiminyaka 13-14 asiyonto ngaphandle mbuzo. Ukuba ngaphezulu, malunga 16-17 iminyaka Indoda okanye ibhinqa eliselula abe makacacelwe gca ukuba kufuneka zikhethwe zabo, ukuze baqonde ukuba uhlobo lolwalamano ufuna ukuba.

umthwalo

Umntwana kufuneka azi ukuba elinesine uxanduva solwaphulo-mthetho. ubuhlobo Teen - into elukhuni, badla iimeko impixano, leyo sikhatshwe kunye akumnandi. Uninzi abantwana eyakhulela kwintsapho abazizityebi, kweminyaka elishumi elinesithandathu athathe uxanduva ubudlelwane ukuba nangaliphi na ixesha.

Indlela yokunceda umntwana wakho abe nentembelo ngakumbi?

Xa elivisayo kunzima kangaka ukuba isigqibo ukuza ukudibana kunye noontanga ayithandayo. Elivisayo, nkqu ubunzima obukhulu, isibindi, ngamanye amaxesha uye, ngesiquphe uba nzima kwaye ndineentloni.

Ziintloni kule ubudala eqhelekileyo, ngaphandle kokuba umsebenzi ngayo, ukuba indoda okanye ibhinqa eliselula ngokwenene ufuna ukoyisa kolu phawu. In ingakumbi iimeko ezinzima, xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo kakhulu ukoyika ukungaphumeleli, okanye akakwazi ukwakha ubuhlobo bokuthembana kunye noontanga babo, ukunceda iingcebiso nasengqondweni. Yingcali liya kuthumela ngayo ukusombulula ingxaki, ndithi kuni indlela yokoyisa iimpazamo zakho kwanobo ufunde ukuthanda kunye nokwazisa wena.

ubu kobudlelwane

Ngelishwa, ezininzi ukuthandana elivisayo abangahlaliyo kwaye iphela phantse phambi kokuba aqale. Oku kungenxa yokuba abantu abatsha abasafunda ukwakha nabanye sithembele ngokupheleleyo ngamnye. Ngoko ke nabo baselula ukuthintela nayiphi na into encinane omdala ukuze sibonakale siyinto: ukunqongophala ukuqonda iintshukumisa izenzo nesoka okanye intombi, umahluko phakathi abalinganiswa, nayiphi na ingxaki encinane eyayiza kubangela imvakalelo nomthinjana yokungabi namandla kunye nokudakumba. Ngoko ke, wenza umbuzo ixabiso le minyaka mininzi kangaka na ukwazi ukuhlangabezana. Ngenxa yezizathu ezicacileyo, amakhwenkwe namantombazana abangazange eminyakeni yobudala engama elinesithandathu, akunakwenzeka ukuba ngokwenene ilungele ubudlelwane bexesha elide.

Ngaba kufuneka ukuba ukuthetha elivisayo ngesini?

Isihloko kubudlelwane baxhalabile malunga elivisayo kunye nabazali babo. Abantwana iimvakalelo eziziimpawu malunga kufutshane kunokwenzeka elibonakalayo, abawalawulayo abahlobo malunga "kwanto 'zazo (ngokufuthi ngengqondo), ukuphupha. Xa zonke iinkcukacha ezikhoyo, abantu abaselula badla akakwazi ukuthelekelela ubunzulu nemiphumo ebe sisiphumo umsebenzi ngokwesondo ekuqaleni. Ngoko ke, malunga ngesondo nabantu abatsha ukuthetha kunokwenzeka kuphela, kodwa kuyimfuneko. Ukuba uyazi ukuba unyana okanye intombi yakho ukuba ukufumana iqabane, kumkhawulela, ukuhamba, ngoko ke umbuzo ukuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni ayikwazi ngaphandle. Abantwana akhule ngokukhawuleza kakhulu, kwanokuba abazali abafuni ukuholwa. Elona xesha lifanelekileyo lokwenza incoko othintelo kunokuba emva ibe engalungiswanga isimanga.

Indlela ntoni xa elivisayo kuzisa ikhaya iqabane umphefumlo wakho?

iphumelele ubudlelwane ezinzulu zinqabile, kodwa hayi umnyinyiva. Xa iimvakalelo zabantu abatsha bakhulu kwaye womelele, amakhwenkwe kufuneka umnqweno ukwazisa okhethiweyo okanye abanyulwa kunye nabazali. Oko kuyabuleleka, kwaye eli nyathelo nga anconywe kuphela. Khawucinge ngale nto: ukuba umntwana ubona kufanelekile ukwazisa ukuba iqabane umphefumlo wakho, ngoko kukholosa ngawe, nengxelo yakho ebalulekileyo kuye. Sinenkoloseko enjalo ke kufuneka sizame ngandlela zonke ukuba ukuzithethelela nokugcina kwixesha elizayo; ke uya kusoloko uyazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni na umntwana wakho.

Ngoko ke, umbuzo kweminyaka emingaphi apho ukwazi ukuhlangabezana, Oku kubaluleke kakhulu xa elivisayo alisilingene ilungele ukwakha ubuhlobo. Xa umfana uye wafunda ukuba ukuthatha uxanduva ngezenzo zabo kwaye izenzo akukho mfuneko yakoyika.