Ukuzithemba - is ... Umgaqo yoxanduva lobuqu. psychology jikelele

Ukuxhomekeka izimvo zabantu senza ukuphila ubomi obupheleleyo kwaye inemibalabala. Kungenakwenzeka ukuba umntu othanda, ukuba abantu baya bizela kuye ukuba benze ntoni, yintoni isigqibo sokuba athathe ukunxiba oko kudla, ukuba khangela ngayo, njalo-njalo. Kodwa ngaba ukuba asikwazi ukunceda yonke imihla yokuba nezikhundla inkululeko yokuzikhethela ingozi yokuba strangulated. njani umntu abe yinxalenye simahla, yaye akayi kungqubana amalungelo nenkululeko yabanye?

Kukho ingqikelelo "ukuzithemba" kwi bengqondo, akukho kakuhle kakhulu ichaza indlela eyiyo omdala, ukuzithemba umntu. Masiqalise nesibakala sokuba ukuzithemba - indlela yokuziphatha, umgangatho uphawu olwenza umntu ngaphandle ndlongo ukuze akhusele imida ubuni balo nokukhusela iinjongo kwakunye nemidla yabo, lo gama ukubonisa unyamezelwano kunye nentlonipho kumdlali welinye icala. Ziziphi iimpawu kunye yokuziphatha esibonakala ngabantu bazibeke?

ukungabikho uchuku

Okokuqala, umntu nezi mpawu unesimilo, akabonisi ndlongo.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba umsebenzi nokuva - ezahlukeneyo izinto. Kukho abantu abangakwaziyo ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo kakuhle, kangangokuba azibonakali ngaphandle. Kodwa ibinzana ngaphandle kobuso akuthethi kuthi ukuba ngaphakathi umntu akanayo uqhwithela. umntu bazibeke zombini nangaphandle yaye ngaphakathi aya kuziva ekhululekile.

Umbono ngokwaneleyo ukuzihlonipha kunye nabanye

Olu phawu kwakhona ibonisa ubukho ukuzithemba umntu. Xa siqinisekile, umntu non-ndlongo aphendule izithuko ezahlukeneyo phezu kwabanye, akukho ukumisela iimfuno ubuninzi kumdlali welinye icala, okanye isuse nayiphi na uxanduva kwincoko neze, uthi kuye ngayo. Kunye nesimo sengqondo esinjalo ukuya interlocutor, ngokwakhe umntu indima yakhe incoko sisingisele ngokwaneleyo - kuyo nayiphi na imeko, oku kuthatha uxanduva ngokupheleleyo ukuba imizuzu mnandi, kwaye alandise ngokwayo ngokupheleleyo.

ukuhlala njalo of Conduct

Kulo msebenzi ziquka ukwamkelwa kunye nokuqaphela iimpazamo kunye nokungabikho ungquzulwano. Ukuzithemba - luvavanyo echanileyo ngumntu izenzo zakhe. Apha omkhulu into - ukuqonda ixesha elichithwa kunye nokusebenza izenzo zabo. Ngako oko, umntu ngqongqo uya kwala isicwangciso wakhulelwa, nokokuba uyawabhuqa imbono ngabanye.

Ungquzulwano okanye ukuzithemba?

Ukuzithemba in psychology iqondwa njengoko ukungabikho kwengakumbi. Uyakwazi nangoko usixelele ukuba oku kwenzeke ngaphandle kokuba kukho ungquzulwano, ngoko akukho ukukhusela uluvo lwakhe. Ngelishwa, abantu abaninzi bacinga njalo - ngokomdla wabo amalungelo ilwelwe kuphela ungquzulwano. Emva koko kufuneka ukhangele ingcamango "ingxabano". Le ungquzulwano ezibukhali nangokweemvakalelo, wengxabano eziphikisanayo izinto, iinjongo kunye nezimvo. Kule nkcazelo, kubalulekile ukubona ukuba kwenzeke ingozi, ekuthiwa ungquzulwano, imimoya, ngokwenene kunye bukhali. Ezi mpawu kuchasene ngokupheleleyo iimpawu ezingundoqo ukuzithemba ezintathu - ukuqonda yokuziphatha, uchuku kunye nokungabikho yovavanyo olwaneleyo nxaxheba unxibelelwano kunye nemeko ngokubanzi. Sinokuthi umntu ukuzazisa uhlale nje ukuba bazibandakanye kule ungquzulwano. Ngokwendalo, ukuziphatha ngasentla abanye unikwa nzima kakhulu, kufuneka kubekho langoku unoxanduva olulodwa nje kuphela, kodwa bekhulisa kakuhle umntwana.

Ukuzithemba - ixesha uyakwazi ukuba athi "hayi"

Amaxesha amaninzi sijamelene neemeko ezinjalo, xa kufuneka uxelele umntu "hayi", kodwa ayikwazi ukukwenza oko ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo, kwaye ke bona ngokwabo bayahlupheka kuyo. Ukuze ufunde ukuba bazihloniphe, imilinganiselo zabo, ukuze ukwazi ukumela iimfuno zabahlali, kubalulekile ukwazi nini ukuba ningayekeleli nantoni na. Ukuzithemba - kukukwazi ukuthi "hayi." Hi xikombiso, le meko: umi kuyo ibhasi ngokupheleleyo ingxowa esandleni nye, esinye isandla sibambe handrail. Umqhubi ukususela ekupheleni ibhasi likucela ukuba uthumele imali zabakhweli umdla kwezinye ekupheleni. Unalo ilungelo lokuba ukudlulisela imali yokuqala, kuba izandla zakhe baxakekile kwaye kuwa, yaye okwesibini, ngaba akafuni ukufumana izandla zakho zimdaka imali kwi ethubeni somnye. Ukuba kule meko bayala izithakazelo zabo, uya kuba kubi ukuba abakhweli umqhubi, kodwa edlula imali, uya kusala imvakalelo ukunganeliseki, kunye nomdla badlwengulwe. Yintoni ukwenza ntoni? Ungagqiba!

Imithetho ukuthi "hayi"

1. Okokuqala, kufuneka ube ngqo. Ukuba uqala achaze isizathu ngokweenkcukacha, kuya kuba ngathi nakuziphendulela.
2. Kubalulekile ukuba ukubonisa intlonipho kwabanye iqela. Unako ukumdumisa okanye inkxaso ngaphandle ekuthwaleni umthwalo uxanduva yezenzo zabantu.
3. Ngamanye amaxesha udinga nje ukuba athi "hayi." Thina oyika yelizwi, ecinga ukuba uphulukene ubabalwe nendoda. Kodwa inkampani "hayi" kubhetele kakhulu kwaye icace ngaphezu languid "Andazi."
4. Kufuneka ukuba athembeke. Unelungelo lokuba nasiphi na isigqibo, ngenxa yokuba uchitha ixesha lakho. Akukho mfuneko ukuzilanduleka.
5. Ukuqina. Ukuba unayo interlocutor bazingisa, kwaye ufuna ukuba acenge isisombululo yakhe ngxaki, kufuneka ukuphinda ngokuqinileyo "hayi" izihlandlo eziliqela.
6. Ukungabikho kwe ityala. Akunjalo kuthi na, ungakhululekanga, okanye ngaba wena uzisole awufuni. Ukuba ngaba awukwazi ukukhulisa ngentlama, kutheni uxolo kuye? Kwaye vzvalennoy uxanduva.
7. Thatha nokuzikhathalela wena. Okokuqala, kufuneka ucinge ngemeko yakhe engqondweni nangokomoya. Ukuba uthi "ewe" - kuthetha ukuba awadubadube ulangazelelo kunye nomdla wabo, kuyimfuneko ukuba indawo esahlukileyo. Asinto umbingelelo. Eneneni, maxa wambi ngenxa yabo babathandayo, sincame into ebalulekileyo ngokwabo. Apha iza kuvuthwa umbuzo eziphambili, uxanduva.

Yintoni na - neassertivny umntu?

Ukuze kuqala yokuziphatha kwabo umgaqo uxanduva, kufuneka siqonde ukuba kukho elinye icala le ngqekembe - ukuziphatha neassertivnoe. It linokuchazwa ngokuthi ukuthamba ngokugqithiseleyo, mhlawumbi ukonqena, sivumelane - ukuxhomekeka enkulu kwabanye. Cinga ngemeko apho le yokuziphatha kwenzeke:

- indoda ethatha indawo isixando sokwenziwa kwincoko kwiqela labantu;

- it likuvumela ukuba wenze izigqibo yena;

- kukho shela abasisigxina uxanduva nezizathu ezibonakala okulungileyo;

- ukoyika ukuqala ulwalamano lobuhlobo kuba abafuni ukuchitha iinzame;

- kubonakaliswa phantsi ukuzithemba - umntu uziva incipha okubi ngaphezu enye;

- sikuphephe ingqalelo yabanye;

- iyalibala kwindlela yokuziphatha esekelwe ukuphepha iingxaki kunye noxanduva;

- Kuyabonakala ukuba uyavumelana kunye namanye, bengathabathanga ingqalelo iimvakalelo zabo kunye neminqweno;

- ukoyika zingaphathi enye, nokuzeyisa-ngozi.

Umntu kuziphatha enjalo entliziyweni yam kuthuthunjiswa kakhulu, njengoko ukhetho akhe iyaphikisana neminqweno engaphakathi. Ubomi bakhe iqala umjikelo ekuthiwa-negative. Kuthetha ukuthini? Neassertivny Xa umntu wamkela kwesilinganiso yabantu ezibalulekileyo, iqala ngaphakathi ngokwalo "kudla", liwuthuthumbisa ngayo amathandabuzo izakhono zabo, ukuziphatha, impumelelo ebomini, kunciphise uxanduva ngokwabo. Ngenxa yoko, kubonakala ukuba alahle ngokwakhe, waqalisa ukuphila ubomi obumbaxa, kwelinye icala, unawo onke loo ngakumbi iminqweno nezilangazelelo, kwelinye icala, akakwazi ukuyiveza nokukhusela. Konke oku kunokukhokelela ulwalamano nemvelo nabantu, ukunqongophala ngabahlobo bokwenene. Ukuzithemba - yinto intsebenziswano eyiyo kwabantu ngaphandle innuendo kunye liyavumelana.

Indlela ukwazi ukuba umntu bazibeke?

Ingxaki ukufunda ukuzithemba ukuze uphumelele, icandelo ukuzithemba lujongene nenzululwazi komphefumlo - psychology jikelele. Ukuze ubone umgangatho umlinganiswa, ungenza uphumelele uvavanyo kangako ukuzithemba, amacebo kwiingcali okanye ukubona indlela yokuziphatha kwabo kubomi bemihla ngemihla. Ngendlela, xa inzululwazi ngokwasengqondweni lokuqaphela okanye anze (anze) libaluleke kakhulu, ekubeni benze isixa esikhulu ulwazi malunga ziko esweni. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukugcina umkhondo, njengoko uthi "hayi" kubonakala ukuba unayo i-ndlongo ukuya kwelinye iqela ukuba ukufumanisa kunzima ukulwela amalungelo abo ngoxolo, kungekho mfazwe, njalo-njalo. Eyona ndlela ibhetele ukubona andangena ngaphandle kuyimbono umntu omthandayo malunga nokuziphatha yakho.

Yintoni usinika umgaqo uxanduva yokuziphatha kwabo?

Kuba uphuhliso epheleleyo ngamnye kubalulekile ukuba umntu bazibeke. Ngapha koko, into yokuba sibe uhlobo semvelo okanye uThixo, abazali babo, sihlala ukuba ebomini, ekufezekiseni impumelelo nokuyazi ukoyiswa ngaphandle ityala okanye ezenziwa phantsi nokuzixabisa. Owenza phezu imigaqo yokuziphatha ngqongqo, siya ukufezekisa iinjongo, ukufikelela ukuphakama kwaye olusebenzayo nobudlelwane nabanye.