Ikaka eyenzekayo kubomi nawuphi na umntu. Umntu kuthiwa cwaka eqhubeka iphila emva kokufa kwisizalwane esisondeleyo, kwaye umntu yintlekele kuba ukuthethisa emsebenzini okanye wasilela ukuhlolwa zekholeji. Ngamaxesha obunzima kunye awabeke wakholwa ngokwabo kwakhona bakwazi ukuthatha inxaxheba nabo. Ngawaphi amazwi akhuthazayo uyakwazi ukuthetha ngamaxesha anzima? Ngaba bonke abanye uyavelana?
Xa kunokwenzeka ukuba enyuka ishishini abanye abantu?
Hlalani bengenamdla kwiingxaki umntu omthandayo, umhlobo okanye ilungu losapho kwi emgceni. ubuncinane. Nokuba ucinga ukuba oko kwenzeka makangakhohlisi nje, kufuneka unikeze "ulixhoba" ithuba lokuthetha. Zama ukunika ingcebiso ethile luncedo ukusombulula iingxaki ezikhoyo, okanye ukuveza nje novelwano lwakho. Ngaba kufuneka ke amazwi akho yenkxaso ngesiquphe enzima abahlobo nje okanye umhlobo oqhelekileyo? Lo ngumbuzo impikiswano. Abantu abaninzi abayithandi xa zisiva malunga kokufa kwendoda yakhe, "ingqondo ukusuka kwelinye isebe emsebenzini" kwaye andazi ukuba usabele ngayo. Hlala kunye amazwi akhe esesikweni kumntu osebenza kweso sakhiwo ofisi kunye nawe, akusoloko enesidima. Kodwa xa kufikwa abafundi zeli ziko, lowo udibana rhoqo ikofu baxoxe malunga zochuku, sele abakrwada ngoyaba esi sehlo. Ezifaneleke kakhulu kule meko iya ngokufutshane ukuchaza uvelwano zabo kunye nokuzisola unikele uncedo.
Yintoni ukuba uxelele omthandayo?
Ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ukuba abahlobo ukuba wazi futhi uqonda ekuthini nguyena wongamileyo kunaye. Kodwa ke into eyenzekayo, kwaye akucaci kufuneka kanye yintoni inkxaso umhlobo ngephanyazo enzima. Ukuba umntu ibekwe ukuthetha, qiniseka ukuba amnike eli thuba. Zama ukuba yedwa apho kungekho namnye unako ezingxoxweni kuwe. Musa Ungazihluphi imibuzo ezongezelelweyo kwaye umamele nje kwaye sibonise umdla ngembonakalo yakhe yonke. Kodwa asingabo bonke abantu baqhele ukuba babelane iingxaki zabo. Ukuba umhlobo wakho kwesi sigaba, yaye ifowuni lokuqala singaqalisi, kubhetele ukuba bamnike ukwehlisa umoya, ukuba babambelele miba. iingcebiso ukunike ukhathazeka ayikho imfuneko yoko, kodwa ke kuvumelekile ukuba ndithi, ubuya kuthini kwimeko enjalo.
Indlela ukubuyisela omnye?
Ezinye iingxaki ingasombululwa. Kwelinye icala, onokuyamkela kuphela. Kwimeko yokuqala, ingxaki ngumntu omthandayo - ukunceda umhlobo wakhe ukuba sokwehlisa ngokukhawuleza athathe amanyathelo. Xa Uhlobo lwesibini meko, into ekuphela uyakwazi ukunceda - uzozama umhlobo wakhe. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo - ukukhetha i-qhinga ekunene. Ukuba umntu omthandayo umhlobo wakho uye waba ingozi, akunakwenzeka ukuba ufuna ukuya club ukuba wonwabe. Kodwa ukuya esibhedlele kunye, nihambe kunye kwincoko ukuphumla - ngomnye umcimbi. Kakade ke, inkxaso abahlobo ngephanyazo kunzima kwaye kuthatha uncedo lokwenene. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, mchazele ukuba uchithe ixesha elithile, uthabathe phezu eminye imisebenzi yasekhaya usondeze iqela owenzakeleyo ukulala kakuhle kwaye ukhululeke.
Kufuneka wenze ntoni xa inkathazo umntu esimthandayo?
Xhasa ozithandayo nzima kakhulu. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba imbono yakho ingxaki inokuba nomahluko ngokwesiseko kwimbono imeko kwiqabane lakho. lula kakhulu ukuba abantu ukuze baqonde abafazi babo ngaphezu vice versa. I sex ngobulungisa ezahlukeneyo imvakalelo, ladies abaninzi engayithandi kuphela achaze yonke into eyenzekileyo, kodwa ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zabo. Lwaphuma ebantwini kufuneka ukuba ukuphulaphula kuphela. A impazamo eqhelekileyo ukuba amadoda amaninzi: ukuchonga iingxaki kuphela, qala ujonge ukuba izisombululo. Le ayiyonto amaqhinga ngendlela echanekileyo. Kufuneka Umfazi kuzisola kuqala, uthobe. Yaye kuphela emva kokuba uyakwazi ukuthatha naziphi na iinzame zokusombulula le ngxaki. Kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukuba amanyathelo ngokwenene iyafuneka, kwaye sifumane amazwi ngokwaneleyo kwenkxaso ngephanyazo onzima ukukhumbula uthando lwakhe kunye nokulungela ukunceda.
Indlela yokunceda ukusinda band emnyama intanda?
Ukuba inkathazo ngezibini kwenzeka kumntu wesini ngokomelela, umfazi kufuneka ufumane ubulumko. Kwabanye abantu le ngxaki - yiyo kuphela izifundo ezitsha, kodwa abanye, nayiphi na ukungaphumeleli - ekupheleni kwehlabathi. Umthetho engundoqo efanayo xa usebenzisana nayo nayiphi na umntu. Akwenzeki ukuzama ukufunda ngaphezu omnye umntu uzama ukuza kukuxelela. ekunokuthi kusekelwe Xhasa ozithandayo ngesiquphe nzima phezu indelelo epheleleyo le ngxaki. Kufuneka baziphathe ngokungathi kwenzeke nto, ukuzama ezinye izinto ezincinane ezimisele ukukholisa indoda yakhe. abafuna ukhuthazo Amanye amadoda. Kufanelekile ukuthi, enkosi iimpawu olomeleleyo lomlinganiswa, ukuba sonke utshintsho nokuphuhlisa. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo - kuphephe nokugxekwa. Nokuba le meko yenzeka ngenxa yeziphoso kunye etyeshelwe iqabane lakho, ukuba bakhumbuze ukuba akukho mfuneko. Kwanele ukuba bathi bonke qiniseka ukuba njengokuba kwakunjalo, okanye ngcono.
Sinentuthuzelo umguli?
iingxaki zempilo - kakhulu kakhulu. Akumangalisi bathi ukuba unako ukuthenga yonke into ngaphandle ukuphila kwakhe ne-ntle. Ngawaphi amazwi akhuthazayo umntu ogulayo uncedo ngokwenene? Ukuba sifo serious, zama ukuqinisekisa interlocutor yakhe ifomu kwinqakwana ukuba Ndombizela bachache ngokukhawuleza. Kubalulekile ukuba bakhumbuze ukuba ulindele isigulana emva kokuba bekhululwe esibhedlele. Sithembise ukuya ndawonye kwindawo ethile umdla okanye uthathe uhambo olude elindelwe. Zokuthintela kumguli ukuba ubukho bakhe bonke miss.
Kuthekani ngabo begula kakhulu?
Ukuba isifo kakhulu ngokwaneleyo, kufuneka ukumkholisa isigulane zonke iinkcukacha uze uzame ukuba naye a mood elungileyo. Yonke imihla, makhe ukufakela into yokuba angalulama. Thetha nabantu ngempumelelo baboyisa isifo kwaye uzame ukwazisa isihlobo okanye umhlobo nomntu kubo, babandulula ubuncinane kuzo, usebenzisa i-Internet.
Ngaba kufuneka ukuba ukuxhasa abazali?
Akuyi kusoloko amazwi inkxaso omthandayo omnye makathathe ngokulula. Indlela baziphathe xa kuthe iingxaki zabazali bakho? Phakathi izihlobo, ukusondela ukuba imali waba iimfihlelo. Kodwa abazali, sihlala abantwana na ubudala, yaye ngenxa yesi sizathu kunokuba nzima ukuthetha iingxaki zabo kwaye ukuvuma nobuthathaka yakhe. Amagama kufuneka zikhethwe ngononophelo kakhulu. Ukuze akazange athi akufanele ukubiza umbuzo kwegunya labazali. I cebo engcono lixhala yaye inxaxheba eqhelekileyo. Fumana ingqalelo zabo, yaye, mhlawumbi, umama okanye utata ayikho nje intetho bonke, kodwa, kwaye mhlawumbi ucele uncedo okanye iingcebiso. Ukuba umntu edandathekile yaye akafuni ukufumana indlela yokuphuma kule meko, kuyimfuneko ukuba bamncede Tune kwi ukuba isimo esihle. Zama into ukuphazamisa abazali babo okanye nje ukuthetha, sikhumbula elidlulileyo. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo - musani ukuphakuzela kwaye musa sukela ukwenza ekufudumaleni, kunokutshiseka. Xa kuza uzolile, uyakwazi ukucinga ngemeko kwaye bafumane isisombululo ilungileyo le ngxaki.
Indlela yokunceda ukumelana neengxaki umntwana wakhe?
Ibiya kuthetha ukuba kungaba lula kunokuba ukuthetha unyana okanye intombi yakhe? Kodwa enyanisweni, ukunceda umntwana ukoyisa kwisigaba nzima ubomi akusoloko kulula oko. Abantwana abaninzi baneentloni ukuthetha ngeengxaki zabo, basuka boyika ukuba ungaqondwa okanye isohlwayo. Intsha badla maximalism bakholelwa ukuba akukho namnye unako ukuqonda, yaye ngakumbi ke ngokugqithiseleyo abazali angqingqwa. inkxaso yabantu kumaxesha anzima kufuneka ngokusekelwe trust kunye nokuqonda. Uyacetyiswa ukuba ukusebenza ngomhla ulungelelwaniso ubudlelane bokuthembana entsatsheni rhoqo, hayi nje kuphela kweli ezinzima. Kufuneka umntwana aqonde ukuba ndlu - indawo apho uhleli undiva nokuqonda. Kodwa kuthekani ugxekwa? Kakade ke, ukuba umntwana ukuba ityala oko kwenzekayo, gcina oku angena kubethwa ngoyaba. Isicwangciso Ilungelo ukuziphatha abazali bakubongoze unyana okanye intombi eye yenzeka into correctable, kwaye kakhulu ukhathazeke yini wenze oko. Nguwe kuphela na ukuyiqonda le meko yaye inceda umntwana ukuqonda isizathu sokuba kwenzeke, njani ukwenza kwixesha elizayo ukuthintela nolo silelo. Ngawaphi amazwi akhuthazayo ngamaxesha anzima kufuneka ukuba uthini? Ukuqaphela sina le ngxaki, enoba umntwana wakho ufumene F okanye ukubandezeleka kuthando engamthandi. Ngaba "imfihlelo" ukuxelela ukuba kwenzeka kwakhona, yaye ukwabelana ngamava. Khumbula ukuba ayizizo zonke iingxaki ingasombululwa ngokwabo, kwezinye iimeko, sibuyele ngengqondo kuyimfuneko.