Ukudakumba ku olufikisayo: njengokubonisa kunye nonyango

iminyaka elivisayo - omnye kakhulu ngokweemvakalelo xa umfundi ephuma ebuntwaneni, kodwa akasoloko yazi ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukuba umntu omdala. Yaba ngeli xesha, oko kuxhomekeke kwiimpembelelo ezahlukeneyo, ukuphikisana, ngokufuthi badana kwiimeko zobomi, abahlobo, abantu. Xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle esikolweni, ekhaya akukho nkxaso, ngoko ukuphuhlisa ukudandatheka elivisayo. Kufuneka wenze ntoni xa kubonakala njengexesha ukuqaphela enze unyango kuyimfuneko, kuya kuxoxwa ngazo kweli nqaku.

Ukudakumba: a inkcazelo

Ukudakumba - ukudakumba, luphawulwa kuphelelwa ngamandla, nabantu ubomi boluntu, ukwala ukwenza iimeko ezibalulekileyo, imiyalelo. imeko enjalo zengqondo kuthathwa ukuba abe sisifo ekufuneka ngayo. Ngokufuthi abantu abakwazi ngokuzimeleyo uphume ukudakumba, ngoko ke kufuneka ngaphandle uncedo.

Njengaso nasiphi na isifo, ukudakumba uneempawu bayo kunye unobangela. Abakwishumi elivisayo, Njengabantu abadala, basengozini kudakumbo, nto leyo edla ngumba yokukhubazeka ngokwasengqondweni okanye ukufa. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela oku sifo ngexesha ukunceda umfundi uze ubuyele uvuyo ebomini.

Izinto ezibangela uxinezeleko elivisayo

Ukudakumba ngokuqhelekileyo kuvela kungekhona ukusuka ekuqaleni, kunokuba zinto zombini njengenjongo luluvo. Iimbangi ezingundoqo ngokudandatheka intsha:

1. utshintsho hormone emzimbeni abantwana. Ngeli xesha, ziziimfidi ngokwaneleyo ukutshintsha ziyenzeka iinkqubo yemichiza emzimbeni kunokubangela utshintsho kwimo, iveze, ixhala.
2. Ukungaphumeleli kwimpilo yesikolo. ukusilela Academic, afunda zilahliwe, 'ehlasela "ootitshala, ukwandisa ukungazinzi ngokweemvakalelo, ukwenza elivisayo engonwabanga.
3. isimo Social. Ukuba umntwana linokunyhashwa phakathi oontanga, abahlobo basoloko bahlekise ngaye, musa ukwazisa uluvo lwakhe, isimo sengqondo esinjalo ayisayicinezeli umfundi, iyenza wedwa.
4. uthando engonwabanga kuqala. Abantwana ethe kakhulu iimvakalelo evela ukuba baye engaphendulekiyo, ngoko abantwana babe wokugxeka kwimbonakalo yabo, umzimba. Angabikho bazihloniphe, bakholelwa ukuba kungabi ngenxa uthando, ngenxa yokuba isimo sengqondo esinjalo sikhokelela lithemba kunye nokudakumba.
5. Iimfuno eliphezulu lwabazali. umtya eqolo, enkulu kakhulu ukuba umfundi, isinika ingqondo ukungakhuseleki, yokoyika isohlwayo ngenxa iziphumo unachieved, uloyiko yamabango ezingakumbi.
6. inkathazo Family. ubudlelwane Family zidlala indima ebalulekileyo karhulumente yomntwana ngokweemvakalelo. Uphuhliso ngokudandatheka olufikisayo kuba ngenxa sengqondo xa ebona abazali abanamdla ebomini umfundi, musa iyaxhaswa, hayi nemihlali iimpumelelo umntwana.

Iimpawu karhulumente edakumbisayo

Nayiphi sifo imiqondiso bungabonakala ngawo. Ukudakumba Ubonakala mpawu zilandelayo:

• isimo isigxina abangenamdla;
• ukuvela ubuhlungu ezahlukeneyo (intloko ebuhlungu, isisu, spinal);
• ayikho edlula ukudinwa, kuphelelwa ngamandla;
• Umfundi ingqalelo umsebenzi othile uba inkumbulo;
• akukho lusizi, ixhala, ixhala ngokugqithiseleyo;
• kukungakhathali okanye eneenkani ukuziphatha - teen imigqomo esikolweni, wenze umsebenzi wesikolo ebusuku ukuze achithe ixesha ezitratweni;
• ukuphuthelwa ebusuku, nobuthongo ngexesha lasemini;
• ukwehla okukhulu yokusebenza esikolweni;
• ekuphepheni ontanga, ngoyaba iziganeko ezahlukeneyo;
• ukunqaba kwenkuthazo ukuba enze nayiphi na imisebenzi;
• yokudla - umfundi okanye uyala ukuba adle okanye kakubi ngayo;
• hyperarousal, eba nomsindo rhoqo, ukuba nochuku;
• lithe phithi mxholo wokufa, emva kokufa.

Ngokubanzi, iimpawu zokudakumba kwi abafikisayo kubangela utshintsho yokuziphatha lwesenzi. Abafundi baba closed, ixesha elininzi egumbini lakhe, musa ukunxibelelana nabanye abantu. Lose umdla nenkuthazo kwimisebenzi ngaphambili owuthandayo, ukuba mnyama uxabene.

iimpawu ubudala

Ndandikhula, abantwana zitshintsha, nje kuphela ngaphandle kodwa ngaphakathi, egcinwe ujongo eyahlukileyo kwi ehlabathini, ubone kwaye siqonde ngokwabo ulwalamano entsha, ulwalamano phakathi kwabantu. Ngoko ke, ngeli xesha, ukuba kuxhomekeke kwimo edakumbisayo.

Uninzi ngexesha likaxakeka ngokudandatheka abafikisayo ithathwa iminyaka eli-13 ukuya kwi-19. Ngeli xesha, abafundi sinotyekelo ntshikilelo, kozinzo zabo nesithukuthezi esiba, ihlabathi ibonwa iglasi, zonke iingxaki zibonakala zimpi.

Xa ndandineminyaka eli-15 iindlela enqabileyo enzima nakulwimi esi sifo, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ukuba ahlawule thina ingqalelo umntwana odakumbileyo, njengoko elula nqanaba ngokukhawuleza ungalucima ibe nzima ngaphezulu.

Abantwana 10 - 12 iminyaka iimpawu eziphambili umboniso ezifana ukonakala jikelele wezempilo, ukwetyisa nothuke nesondlo. Ukongeza, ukutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha kwabafundi, baba ngakumbi beshenxile, ulilolo, ukuze ezikhala nje kungekho nto, waphelelwa ngumdla kwimisebenzi engaphambili.

Intsha 12 - 14 iminyaka ekufihleni ukudakumba, kodwa kuziveza ngokusebenzisa zigule motor. Abantwana abakwazi ukucacisa iingcinga zabo, kuvela iingxaki kwinkqubo boqhagamshelwano. Kwakhona sibonakalisa ezinjalo iimpawu zokudakumba e abafikisayo, ezifana bangaziphumeleli izifundo, misconduct, ulunya, ulichithe kakhulu esitratweni. Abafundi sele kwempixano rhoqo kwaye abacinga ukuba baya agxeke, babefunda ubhalo lwamanani, ukubathoba.

Uninzi ukuxinezeleka eziyingxaki accounted for 14 - engama-19 ubudala - iminyaka xa abafundi kunzima ukukhetha indlela elizayo, bedlula iimviwo. Ukongeza, bakholisa ukuba bacinge malunga ngenjongo yobomi, ongayi kuba okwangoku ukuqonda ukufumana iingcinga ezinjalo uphawu self-ngokwaneleyo. Ngeli xesha, abaninzi babazi ukuze abonise iimpawu ezifana ngokudandatheka elivisayo efuna, ukutya kakuhle, ukuba nochuku, uloyiko ekwenzeni izigqibo, ixhala kunye nabanye.

Iintlobo iimpawu zokudakumba

Kuxhomekeka kwiimpawu zokuziphatha oluboniswe miqondiso iintlobo zilandelayo jini:

• Zombies - ngeebhayisikile elivisayo kwimisebenzi ethile, nto leyo eya kuzisa inzuzo, kodwa wayeludlolo ngokupheleleyo. Umzekelo okuphawuleka ixesha yokugcina networks zentlalo, nokuhlaziya rhoqo lamaphepha elindele ukuba umcimbi omtsha. Lo mntwana iba "zombi", lusidla kulwazi ngamampunge.
• Riddle - umfundi akukho zimpawu sisifo ukubonisa, kodwa kakhulu kwatshintsha kwixesha elifutshane. Inguqu enokuchaphazela inkangeleko, imikhwa sengqondo.
• Victim - Depression abantwana abafikisayo kaninzi kuthatha uhlobo lombingelelo xa, eziva yanto okanye emncinane lula baphenjelelwa ngempumelelo ngakumbi, ngenxa yabo, umntu phantsi kweempembelelo apho ukuxinezeleka luyomelezwa kuphela.
• Screen - Abafundi kunempumelelo ayezimele oyinyaniso iimvakalelo, uloyiko, intlungu. Olu hlobo esi sifo kungakhokelela ekubeni umntwana uza kuqhubeka sizama ukuba nempumelelo, kodwa akuyi ukwaneliseka.
• Ingxaki - Abantu abatsha ndingaziva incasa ubomi, bonke ekruqulayo yaye ingabangeli, ukuba kusoloko udangele. Kwesi sifundo kakuhle, musa ke kukhokelela ngendlela bazikhethe yobomi, kunye nemvisiswano ngokomoya kwezi abantwana apho.
• Neenkani - olu hlobo ukudakumba, uthi uhlobo ixesha elide. Umfundi akayi sibuxabise ubomi, ndiyacaphuka kuye, ngelo xesha, weza sokuzibulala, yena phantse abawuthobeli, njengoko okona akuthandayo kakhulu ego yakhe aze abakhusele kuyo.

Ukudakumba yamakhwenkwe namantombazana: iyantlukwano ngokwesini

Abakwishumi elivisayo edandathekileyo, abakwazi ukuba sithwalwe ngazo, ngokufuthi uzama ukufumana indlela yokuphuma, nto leyo eya kunceda ukuphelisa ukubandezeleka umlomo intlungu. Kulo mzekelo, impendulo yombuzo indlela yokufumana phandle edandathekile, inkwenkwana abantwana ibonwa buntovskom kwaye bazikhethe, yaye intombazana - okubangela ngaphakathi okanye ukubandezeleka okukhulu.

Amakhwenkwe ayedla ngakumbi ezinxulumene beziphethe kakubi, ezama zonke iintlobo iziyobisi, utywala, ukuvala le ndlela, hayi kuphela iingxaki zobuqu, kodwa ke elimiweyo liphela, ukungabikho kwayo nokungaqondi. Kulo meko, umntwana uziva onwabile ngokupheleleyo. Akukho imisebenzi, ootitshala nabazali abanenkathalo kakhulu.

Ukudakumba emantombazaneni elivisayo a imbonakalo eyahlukileyo kancinane. Yena engena ngokwakhe, wavuka kwimpembelelo lwangaphandle kwihlabathi yakhe ngaphakathi, uba neliyingozi, ivaliwe, yedwa. Oku kuziphatha lu dityanisiwe phantsi ukuzithemba, xa engazi ukuba yintoni ukuzihlonipha, yintoni na isibheno wayo, ngoxa ezama ukuba ndindisholo intlungu ngokusebenzisa kakubi. Amaninzi, le underestimation ngokwabo njengabantu, umthamo wabo uhamba ukusuka usapho xa umntwana uthe omncinane ngoko emdala kakhulu yaye ulungile. Ngapha koko, malunga eninzi amantombazana uthando kungenzeki, akuyi alihlutha abantwana, musa ukwenza bigot.

Nangona kunjalo, ezi iziphumo kulo ilizwe, sibe sibi kuphela imeko, emva kokuphela intlungu iintlobano zesini iziyobisi okanye ngakumbi ukuzithemba kusithwa zero. Kubalulekile ukuqala ukujongana ukudandatheka abafikisayo, ukuze aphephe ukufa ngokuzithandela ixesha ngoko kubalulekile.

unyango ukudangala

Xa efumanise ezi mpawu zingasentla, kufuneka udibane nogqirha kangangokuba ezichongiweyo unyango ofanelekileyo, nto leyo enokuthi sonyango okanye thethwano.

Amachiza ngokuqhelekileyo emiselweyo nadlamkisayo ezahlukahlukeneyo, nto leyo kuba nafuthe entshabalalo emzimbeni komntwana liphela, musa kungakhokelela ubuthongo kunye kwecala. Naliphi na iyeza kufuneka kuthathwe ngqongqo kagqirha likagqirha ukuze intlungu ezahlukeneyo ezingemnandi.

Noko ke, amaxesha amaninzi ngokwaneleyo ukwenza ikhondo thethwano ngokwasengqondweni, apho unyango ngokudandatheka abafikisayo ikhutshwa phandle uphendlo ezibangela izifo, ukufunda ukuqaphela iingcinga ezingakhiyo kunye nokukwazi ukumelana nazo. uthethwano ezinjalo ziya kubanjwa ngolu uyabaxhasa umntwana yaye intsapho iphela, ukuba ngoonobangela zesifo nzima nezalamane.

ukulondolozwa ngabazali ukuba intsha

Indima ephambili ekuthintelweni ngokudandatheka abantwana inikwa abazali babo, kokuziphatha nezimo zengqondo ezinceda okanye musa ukuba esi sifo, okanye kulula ukumelana nayo. Ukukhusela umntwana bekwimo edakumbisayo, abazali kufuneka ukhethe ukusuka amaqhinga zobuzali zilandelayo:

• Not kucetyiswa njalo kohlwaya okanye kuyithoba umntwana, kungenjalo ekhula ngezwi elingaqondakaliyo, acofwa, iya kuqwalasela ngokwabo engenamsebenzi.
• Akukho mfuneko yokuba ukuthatha unonophelo abantwana kakhulu, ukwenza izigqibo, yaye oku wamqumbisa ukudakumba elivisayo, iimpawu leyo ebonakaliswa ukungakwazi ukwenza ukhetho, ukuzimela.
• Musa akufunekanga ibambelele umntwana, inkululeko yakhe, umele uzive ukuzimela kwawo, kodwa ngaxeshanye ukwazi ukuba abazali basoloko apho.
• Ukunika ithuba lokukhetha isangqa ubugcisa, icandelo ezemidlalo, abahlobo, musa ukubeka umntwana wakho amaphupha abo kuzaliseka.
• Kuyimfuneko ukuba uthethe umntwana, kungcono ukwenza oku ngemisebenzi ezimanyeneyo. Apha kucetyiswa ukuba akhethe into othanda ukuyenza kunye elivisayo, abazali, oku kube ski uhambo usapho, ice iZiko loFikelelo olwenziwe Lula, ukudala yezandla imincili, ukufunda iincwadi kunye nangaphezulu.
• Ukuba umntwana wabelana iingxaki zakhe, kubalulekile ukuphulaphula kuyo, kunjalo akunakwenzeka ukuba ahlekise ingxaki, nokuba bekhohlisana. Kubhetele ukuba baxoxe beze nesisombululo.
• moralizing njalo nazo ibe ngunobangela ngokudandatheka abafikisayo, ngoko kucetyiswa ukuba ukufundisa ngezenzo, kungekhona amazwi, kufuneka zibe ngumzekelo umntwana wakho.

Iimpawu ze sokuzibulala

ukuxinezeleka kolutsha singathatha ifomu anobungozi - abasuka kuzo ngokuzithandela ebomini. Zonke iingxaki ezivela esikolweni, zithathwa ezingenakunyibilika kunye oonobangela amalahle ziintlungu nodandatheko. Phakathi kakhulu ethandwa: Ukungaphumeleli esikolweni, uthando ezingabuyekezekiyo, iingxaki zentsapho, kwaphindwa ukusilela kwimicimbi eyahlukeneyo. Elivisayo, abakwazi ukumelana ntshikilelo ezo mvakalelo, yiya kwinyathelo kakhulu - ukuzibulala, leyo elisombulula yonke imibuzo enzima kwangoko.

Phakathi iimpawu eziphambili kule yokuziphatha zezi zilandelayo:

• ukungabikho ukholo elizayo elungileyo kwaye wonwabe, umntwana ulahlekelwa lonke ithemba;
• sengqondo lingenandaba kuwe, ukudandatheka ukufikisa ibonakalisiwe ngokusebenzisa ibinzana elithi "Mna Akukho ukusetyenziswa nabani na, kungekho mntu ukuba mna";
• umfundi eyeka ukwenza izinto ozithandayo, inzala ukulahlekelwa ekufundeni;
• kaninzi iqala incoko ngokufa okanye owoyikekayo kuzibulala.

Xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo uboniswe ubuncinane enye kwezi mpawu zingasentla, awukwazi uzakuwushiya ungajongwangwa, kufuneka uthethe nomntwana wakho okanye uthathe ukuba ngengqondo.

Underestimation kunye overestimation le meko

Ukudakumba akusoloko kulula kwaye kulula ukuba aqaphele, kodwa akuyomfuneko ukuba ade azidube, leyo ke underestimating okanye, phezu koko, eyenzeka kufuneka sihlolwe ntoni.

Bonke abantwana abafikisayo abakhuselekanga ntshikilelo ngokwasengqondweni, yinkqubo eqhelekileyo ukuba unalo iimpawu ezifanayo ukudandatheka. Noko ke, oko imfutshane, umntwana avalwe ngokwayo, kulula ukuqhagamshelana. Kulo mzekelo, akukho mfuneko yokuba baphinde bavavanye le meko kwaye ukukhokela umfundi kugqirha, kakhulu incoko ziyimfihlo ekhaya. Apha, abazali onokumxelela ngayo ngokwabo, ukuba bafumana iingxaki ezithile kweli phakade.

Ngelo xesha, abantwana abafuna ngenene uncedo indiva, abazali ke ingxaki uthathe indawo yawo, iimpawu zokudakumba kwi abafikisayo akangeniswanga waphawula. Apha kukho underestimating imeko, umntwana usele yedwa kunye neengxaki zabo, nto leyo igcwele na ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo okanye ukuzibulala.

Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela yokuqala neyesibini, ukuxhasa yaye, ukuba kuyimfuneko, unyango.

Ngenxa yoko, ukudakumba eqhelekileyo kakhulu phakathi kwentsha ngenxa yotshintsho zabo ngaphakathi nangaphandle, xa abangabantwana ukulungele ukwamkela imithetho entsha, sithi makubekho ubomi abadala, asikwazi ukuqonda ulwalamano phakathi kwabantu bafumane indawo yabo eluntwini. Uphuhliso edandathekile elivisayo kuyingozi kwimpilo yengqondo nobomi, ngoko kwakungekho ixesha elaneleyo ukunceda umzali okanye impilo, ukuze ivule ukuzibulala njengendlela kuphela kule meko.